DON'T BE GAY!

1. If you are over forty, and you have a washboard stomach, you are gay. It means you haven't sucked back enough beer with the boys and have spent the rest of your free time doing sit-ups, aerobics, and doing the Oprah diet.



2. If you have a cat, you are a Flaaaaming homo. A cat is like a dog, but gay-- it grooms itself constantly but never scratches itself, has a delicate touch except when it uses its nails, and whines to be fed And just think about how you call a dog... 'Killer, come here! I said get your *** over here, Killer!' Now think about how you call a cat. 'Bun-bun, come to daddy, snookums!' Jeeezus, you're fit to be framed, you're so gay.

3. If you suck on lollipops, Ring-Pops, baby pacifiers, or any such nonsense, rest assured, you are a *******. A straight man only sucks on BBQ ribs, crab claws, raw oysters, crawfish guts, pickled pigs feet, or ****. Anything else and you are in training and undeniably a ***.



4. If you refuse to take a dump in a public bathroom or **** in a parking lot, you crave a deep homosexual relationship. A man's world is his bathroom; he defecates and urinates where he pleases.



5. If you drink anything other than regular coffee. A straight man will never be heard ordering a 'Decaf Soy Latte'. If you've put a Decaf Soy Latte to your lips, you've had a man there, too.



6. If you know more than six names of non standard colors or four different types of dessert other than ice c ream and pie, you might as well be handing out free *** passes. A real man doesn't have memory space in his brain to remember all of that crap. If you can pick out chartreuse or you know what a 'fressier' is you're gay. And if you can name ANY type of textile other than cotton or denim, you are faggadocious.



7. If you drive with both hands on the wheel, forget it, you're dying to tune a meat whistle. A man only puts both hands on the wheel to honk at a slow-*** driver or to cut the jerk off. The rest of the time he needs that hand to change the radio station, eat a hamburger, or hold his beer.



8. If you do not send this off to all the males on your email list because you are afraid of hurting their feelings then you are definitely on the verge on being a fudgepacker.

 

WTF dude...

 

you sound really gay.. everything you wanna do is either licking his *** or blowing a load on him... should have named the thread.. "i'm coming out of that closet!! kelm i love you"

 

i have a cat.. and he's a bad bitch.. he'll bend you over his litter box and have his way with you

 

i think the mods are voting and laughing at this ****...........

 

you want to eat his ***?????????


BIKE his ****????? SWEET!!!!!!!!! thats always fun!

 

yo.... dont **** with ysr.... he has been riding for 100 years and he was doing O's in his front yard wile he made the cops watch in 89..... and he was on a cb 900.... and he makes babies cry
and he can kill the streets "beter then anyone on this forum"...... he is soo hood i am scared

 

Bike his **** off????? WOuld that involve doing a rolling burnout over it, or tying guitar string from his member to the 12 bar, and taking off?

Either way, I voted bike his **** off! At least an iron won't be shoved up his ***.....

 

LOL! I definitely voted for biking of the ****...

 

bump for a good tread!

 

Nobody is a fan

 

Kelm's so dreamy...............

 

kelm almost looks as good as the chicks in your avi

 

i bet them chicks have a tighter *** though