its like bad joke....

come on any one got funny jokes to cheer me up...?

 

Not sure if you can get on this site but here's a guess her bra size quiz that for obvious reasons should entertain you

http://www.cyclefish.com/motorcycle_humor/bra-size.php

 

blocked didnt work...

 

Shame, prob cos of the bare breasts, lol, something to look forward to when you get out!

 

I knew a blonde that was so stupid that.......

* she called me to get my phone number.

* she spent 20 minutes looking at the orange juice box because it said "concentrate."

* she put lipstick on her forehead because she wanted to make up her mind.

*she tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order.

*she sent me a fax with a stamp on it.

*she tried to drown a fish.

*she thought a quarterback was a refund.

*she got locked in a grocery store and starved to death.

*she tripped over a cordless phone.

*she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept.

*she asked for a price check at the Dollar Store.

*she studied for a blood test.

*she thought Meow Mix was a CD for cats.

*when she heard that 90% of all crimes occur around the home, she moved.

*when she missed the 44 bus, she took the 22 bus twice instead.

*when she took you to the airport and saw a sign that said "Airport Left" she turned around and went home

 

Did you hear about the blonde that...Couldn't learn to water ski because she couldn't find a lake with a slope.

Got excited because she finished a jigsaw puzzle in 6 months and the box said "2 to 4 years"

Couldn't call 911 because there was no 11 on any phone button.

When asked what the capital of California was; answered "C".

Baked a turkey for 3 days because the instructions said 1 hour per pound and she weighed 125.

After losing in a breaststroke swimming competition, complained that the other swimmers were using their arms.

 

A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license.

She replied in a huff, "I wish you guys could get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you."

 

man walks into a bar... should have watched where he was going lololol

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lol....my favs I knew a blonde that was so stupid that.......



* she spent 20 minutes looking at the orange juice box because it said "concentrate."


lol


* she put lipstick on her forehead because she wanted to make up her md.



*she thought a quarterback was a refund.




*she studied for a blood test.

lol


*when she heard that 90% of all crimes occur around the home, she moved.

lol

 

boooooooooo this is suposed to be helping with the pian....lol

 

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My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them

Rice is great if you're really hungry and want to eat two thousand of something

I used to do drugs I still do, but I used to, too

I don't have a girlfriend But I do know a woman who'd be mad at me for saying that

 

Ok, round two


what you call a world with no women?










a pain in the ****

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stupid but made me laugh lol

 

ok, what do you call an old man that smells like cheap cigerets?











OMR. lol

 

[FONT='Arial','sans-serif']Bob, a handsome dude, walked into a sports bar around 9:58 PM. He sat down
next to a blonde at the bar and stared up at the TV. The 10:00PM news was
coming on.. The news crew was covering a story of a man on a ledge of a large
building preparing to jump. The blonde looked at Bob and said, 'Do you think
he'll jump?' Bob says, 'You know, I bet he'll jump.' The blonde replied,
'Well, I bet he won't.' Bob placed a $20 bill on the bar and said, 'You're
on!'
Just as the blonde placed her money on the bar, the guy on the ledge did a
swan dive off the building, falling to his death. The blonde was very upset,
but willingly handed he $20 to Bob, saying, 'Fair's fair. Here's your
money.' Bob replied, 'I can't take your money, I saw this earlier on the 5
PM news and so I knew he would jump.
The blond replied, 'I did too; but I didn't think he'd do it again.'

Bob took the money...[/FONT]

 

To my friends who enjoy a glass of wine... And those who don't.
As Ben Franklin said: 'In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria.'

In a number of carefully controlled trials, scientists have demonstrated that if we drink 1 liter of water each day, at the end of the year we would have absorbed more than 1 kilo of Escherichia coli, (E. Coli) - bacteria found in faeces. In other words, we are consuming
1 kilo of ****.

However, we do NOT run that risk when drinking wine & beer (or tequila, rum, Whiskey or other liquor) because alcohol has to go through a purification process of boiling, filtering and/or fermenting.

Remember: Water = ****, Wine = Health



Therefore, it is better to drink wine and talk bollocks, than to drink water and be full of ****.

I CAN SEE THERE ARE SOME WINE DRINKERS ON HERE, BUT THERE'S ALSO AN AWFUL LOT OF WATER DRINKERS, HAHAHAHAHAHA

 

thanks for the giggles they where needed...!!!!!
I made it home thanks to Mus a good friend with a Lexus

 

lol

 

What's the difference between you dick and your paycheck?





You don't have to beg your wife to blow your paycheck.