Dont do this!
12-09-2005, 12:15 AM
#1
ScooterTrashST.com
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: Mission Viejo, CA
Age: 46
Posts: 2,177
Dont do this!
Hey there Romeo! Are you a member of the Internet, the world's biggest meat market? Do you log on, lube up and try to get lucky, but still strike out with the chickies?
Is your one eyed trouser snake looking more and more like a calloused hot-dog that has been left out in the sun for days? Well don't sweats it! My name ain't "Slim" for nothing!
Y'all should know that a man ain't no man unless him **** be getting some wetness on it. With that all said and done, buckle up, remove that ***-plug and read on... we guarantee you'll be getting some hot poon action in no time! (Offer not valid in Quebec, Hawaii or Idaho.)
1 Choose your chatroom/IRC channel wisely. Drop by E/N rooms, rooms/channels with the word "teen" in the title and good ol' standbys like Yahoo and AOL.
2 First impressions are important. The first thing you say in a chatroom should be along the lines of "HELLO LADIES!!! A/S/L??" or "WHERE THE HOTTT LADIES AT?" This demonstrates that you are a sensitive man who concerns himself with the needs of women. You'll be surprised at the response you get.
3 Look for your prospective prey/mate. Keep an eye out for a lady who repeatedly says things like "LOL", "r0x my s0x" or any other obnoxious form of netspeak. Chances are she's either a teenage honey, or mentally disabled. Either way... SCORE!
4 Wait for the right moment to pounce. If your object of molestation says any of the following "OMG I'm SO BORED!"/ "I feel so fat today!" / "umm like how do I change my desktop picture thing?" send that poonie an IM/Query/PM ASAP! (Remember, you're going to have dozens of horny competitors.)
5 Oblige her aforementioned whim in private conversation and then engage her by asking: "Shouldn't a babe like you be out with her boyfriend on a Saturday night?" Reeled in, the young slice will begin her protestations of "oh im not pretty" and "boys hate me."
6 Get her to send you a picture. ("Aw come on, I bet you're real pretty, lemme see") If she's 10-15 pounds overweight... its all good. Squishy shorties suck up any attention like a sponge and will do ANYTHING for your approval. ("I bet you could be really sexy if you tried...") An MPG of her putting mousetraps on her nipples? You bet.
7 Ask if she has a website. Fap to pics of her and her friends posing during soccer practice while telling her "Wow, what an excellent site! You're a really talented web designer and writer!" To get her juices flowing, be sure to use the phrase "html skillz" a few times during the conversation.
8 Periodically interject in the conversation: "Are you sure you're [JAILBAIT AGE]? You're so mature!"
9 "Why, yes! I do enjoy the music of [crappy obscure emoindustrogoth group]! MTV = sux0r!"
10 Don't ply your cybergurrlie with DVD's, digital cameras and all that impersonal modern frippery. Just send lots of <3, -----<-@ , :-* . She'll see you're just an old fashioned romantic at heart and golly, she'll love ya for it much more than if you got her some crappy electronics!
11 Sending some pics of your **** would probably help too.
12 When it comes time for you two to arrange your first real-life ****ing -err- meeting, make sure it's somewhere intimate, secluded and dimly lit. I recommend an empty mall parking lot next to a drainage ditch. (You know... just in case.)
13 If she's hesitant about meeting you alone, simply guilt her into doing what you want. Her fear of losing such a "catch" will bring her to her senses. "Don't you trust me? I trust you? I thought you loved me.... I can't love someone who won't trust me."
14 When the undercover cops drag you away, you'll be on the fast track to prison. You'll get special treatment once the other inmates find out you're an attempted pedo. You'll be getting laid so much, you won't have a chance to sit down!
Is your one eyed trouser snake looking more and more like a calloused hot-dog that has been left out in the sun for days? Well don't sweats it! My name ain't "Slim" for nothing!
Y'all should know that a man ain't no man unless him **** be getting some wetness on it. With that all said and done, buckle up, remove that ***-plug and read on... we guarantee you'll be getting some hot poon action in no time! (Offer not valid in Quebec, Hawaii or Idaho.)
1 Choose your chatroom/IRC channel wisely. Drop by E/N rooms, rooms/channels with the word "teen" in the title and good ol' standbys like Yahoo and AOL.
2 First impressions are important. The first thing you say in a chatroom should be along the lines of "HELLO LADIES!!! A/S/L??" or "WHERE THE HOTTT LADIES AT?" This demonstrates that you are a sensitive man who concerns himself with the needs of women. You'll be surprised at the response you get.
3 Look for your prospective prey/mate. Keep an eye out for a lady who repeatedly says things like "LOL", "r0x my s0x" or any other obnoxious form of netspeak. Chances are she's either a teenage honey, or mentally disabled. Either way... SCORE!
4 Wait for the right moment to pounce. If your object of molestation says any of the following "OMG I'm SO BORED!"/ "I feel so fat today!" / "umm like how do I change my desktop picture thing?" send that poonie an IM/Query/PM ASAP! (Remember, you're going to have dozens of horny competitors.)
5 Oblige her aforementioned whim in private conversation and then engage her by asking: "Shouldn't a babe like you be out with her boyfriend on a Saturday night?" Reeled in, the young slice will begin her protestations of "oh im not pretty" and "boys hate me."
6 Get her to send you a picture. ("Aw come on, I bet you're real pretty, lemme see") If she's 10-15 pounds overweight... its all good. Squishy shorties suck up any attention like a sponge and will do ANYTHING for your approval. ("I bet you could be really sexy if you tried...") An MPG of her putting mousetraps on her nipples? You bet.
7 Ask if she has a website. Fap to pics of her and her friends posing during soccer practice while telling her "Wow, what an excellent site! You're a really talented web designer and writer!" To get her juices flowing, be sure to use the phrase "html skillz" a few times during the conversation.
8 Periodically interject in the conversation: "Are you sure you're [JAILBAIT AGE]? You're so mature!"
9 "Why, yes! I do enjoy the music of [crappy obscure emoindustrogoth group]! MTV = sux0r!"
10 Don't ply your cybergurrlie with DVD's, digital cameras and all that impersonal modern frippery. Just send lots of <3, -----<-@ , :-* . She'll see you're just an old fashioned romantic at heart and golly, she'll love ya for it much more than if you got her some crappy electronics!
11 Sending some pics of your **** would probably help too.
12 When it comes time for you two to arrange your first real-life ****ing -err- meeting, make sure it's somewhere intimate, secluded and dimly lit. I recommend an empty mall parking lot next to a drainage ditch. (You know... just in case.)
13 If she's hesitant about meeting you alone, simply guilt her into doing what you want. Her fear of losing such a "catch" will bring her to her senses. "Don't you trust me? I trust you? I thought you loved me.... I can't love someone who won't trust me."
14 When the undercover cops drag you away, you'll be on the fast track to prison. You'll get special treatment once the other inmates find out you're an attempted pedo. You'll be getting laid so much, you won't have a chance to sit down!
