Friday Jokes...
04-02-2004, 09:15 AM
#1
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Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: Clinton Township MI
Age: 45
Posts: 7,376
Friday Jokes... Post em if ya got em...
Female vs Male
1. NAMES
If Laurie, Linda, Elizabeth and Barbara go out for lunch, they will call each other Laurie, Linda, Elizabeth and Barbara.
If Mark, Chris, Eric and Tom go out, they will effectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla, Peanut-Head and Scrappy.
2. EATING OUT
When the bill arrives, Mark, Chris, Eric and Tom will each throw in $20, even though it's only for $32.50.
None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.
When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.
3. MONEY
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.
4. BATHROOMS
A man has five items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from the Marriott.
The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337.
A man would not be able to identify most of these items.
5. ARGUMENTS
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
6. CATS
Women love cats.
Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats.
7. FUTURE
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
8. SUCCESS
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
9. MARRIAGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change and she does.
10. DRESSING UP
A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the garbage, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.
A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.
11. NATURAL
Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
12. OFFSPRING
Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.
A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
Any married man should forget his mistakes.
There's no use in two people remembering the same thing.
AND FINALLY.....
A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word.
An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede their position.
As they passed a barnyard of mules, jackasses, and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?"
"Yep," the wife replied, "in-laws."
Female vs Male
1. NAMES
If Laurie, Linda, Elizabeth and Barbara go out for lunch, they will call each other Laurie, Linda, Elizabeth and Barbara.
If Mark, Chris, Eric and Tom go out, they will effectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla, Peanut-Head and Scrappy.
2. EATING OUT
When the bill arrives, Mark, Chris, Eric and Tom will each throw in $20, even though it's only for $32.50.
None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.
When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.
3. MONEY
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.
4. BATHROOMS
A man has five items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from the Marriott.
The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337.
A man would not be able to identify most of these items.
5. ARGUMENTS
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
6. CATS
Women love cats.
Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats.
7. FUTURE
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
8. SUCCESS
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
9. MARRIAGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change and she does.
10. DRESSING UP
A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the garbage, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.
A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.
11. NATURAL
Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
12. OFFSPRING
Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.
A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
Any married man should forget his mistakes.
There's no use in two people remembering the same thing.
AND FINALLY.....
A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word.
An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede their position.
As they passed a barnyard of mules, jackasses, and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?"
"Yep," the wife replied, "in-laws."
04-02-2004, 09:22 AM
#2
Registered User
Join Date: May 2003
Location: Roseville, MI
Age: 50
Posts: 4,703
Re: Friday Jokes...
Here some more bathroom readin 4 ya.... 
1. WILL THE REAL DUMMY PLEASE STAND UP?
AT&T fired President John Walter after nine months, saying he lacked intellectual leadership. He received a $26 million severance package.
Perhaps it's not Walter who's lacking intelligence.
2. WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM OUR FRIENDS:
Police in Oakland, California spent two hours attempting to subdue a gunman who had barricaded himself inside his home. After firing ten tear gas canisters, officers discovered that the man was standing beside them in the police line, shouting, "Please come out and give yourself up."
3. WHAT WAS PLAN B???
An Illinois man, pretending to have a gun, kidnapped a motorist and forced him to drive to two different automated teller machines, wherein the kidnapper proceeded to withdraw money from his own bank accounts.
4. THE GETAWAY!
A man walked into a Topeka, Kansas, Kwik Stop, and asked for all the money in the cash drawer. Apparently, the take was too small, so he tied up the store clerk and worked the counter himself for three hours until police showed up and grabbed him.
5. DID I SAY THAT???
Police in Los Angeles had good luck with a robbery suspect who just couldn't control himself during a lineup. When detectives asked each man in the lineup to repeat the words: "Give me all your money or I'll shoot," the man shouted, "That's not what I said!"
6. ARE WE COMMUNICATING??
A man spoke frantically into the phone,
"My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart!"
'Is this her first child?" the doctor asked. "No!" the man shouted,
"This is her husband!"
7. NOT THE SHARPEST TOOL IN THE SHED!!
In Modesto, California, Steven Richard King was arrested for trying to hold up a Bank of America branch without a weapon. King used a thumb and a finger to simulate a gun, but fortunately, he failed to keep his hand in his pocket...
(hellllllooooooo!)
8. AND, THE GRAND FINALE
Last summer, down on Lake Isabella, located in the high desert, an hour east of Bakersfield, California, some folks, new to boating, were having a problem. No matter how hard they tried, they couldn't get their brand new 22 ft. boat going. It was very sluggish in almost every maneuver, no matter how much power was applied. After about an hour of trying to make it go, they putted to a nearby marina, thinking someone there could tell them what was wrong. A thorough topside check revealed everything in perfect working condition. The engine ran fine, the out drive went up and down, and the prop was the correct size and pitch. So, one of the marina guys jumped in the water to check underneath. He came up choking on water, he was laughing so hard.
NOW REMEMBER...THIS IS TRUE....Under the boat, still strapped securely in place, was the trailer.
Does any one else find it frightening that the majority of these events
took place in California...?
1. WILL THE REAL DUMMY PLEASE STAND UP?
AT&T fired President John Walter after nine months, saying he lacked intellectual leadership. He received a $26 million severance package.
Perhaps it's not Walter who's lacking intelligence.
2. WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM OUR FRIENDS:
Police in Oakland, California spent two hours attempting to subdue a gunman who had barricaded himself inside his home. After firing ten tear gas canisters, officers discovered that the man was standing beside them in the police line, shouting, "Please come out and give yourself up."
3. WHAT WAS PLAN B???
An Illinois man, pretending to have a gun, kidnapped a motorist and forced him to drive to two different automated teller machines, wherein the kidnapper proceeded to withdraw money from his own bank accounts.
4. THE GETAWAY!
A man walked into a Topeka, Kansas, Kwik Stop, and asked for all the money in the cash drawer. Apparently, the take was too small, so he tied up the store clerk and worked the counter himself for three hours until police showed up and grabbed him.
5. DID I SAY THAT???
Police in Los Angeles had good luck with a robbery suspect who just couldn't control himself during a lineup. When detectives asked each man in the lineup to repeat the words: "Give me all your money or I'll shoot," the man shouted, "That's not what I said!"
6. ARE WE COMMUNICATING??
A man spoke frantically into the phone,
"My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart!"
'Is this her first child?" the doctor asked. "No!" the man shouted,
"This is her husband!"
7. NOT THE SHARPEST TOOL IN THE SHED!!
In Modesto, California, Steven Richard King was arrested for trying to hold up a Bank of America branch without a weapon. King used a thumb and a finger to simulate a gun, but fortunately, he failed to keep his hand in his pocket...
(hellllllooooooo!)
8. AND, THE GRAND FINALE
Last summer, down on Lake Isabella, located in the high desert, an hour east of Bakersfield, California, some folks, new to boating, were having a problem. No matter how hard they tried, they couldn't get their brand new 22 ft. boat going. It was very sluggish in almost every maneuver, no matter how much power was applied. After about an hour of trying to make it go, they putted to a nearby marina, thinking someone there could tell them what was wrong. A thorough topside check revealed everything in perfect working condition. The engine ran fine, the out drive went up and down, and the prop was the correct size and pitch. So, one of the marina guys jumped in the water to check underneath. He came up choking on water, he was laughing so hard.
NOW REMEMBER...THIS IS TRUE....Under the boat, still strapped securely in place, was the trailer.
Does any one else find it frightening that the majority of these events
took place in California...?
04-02-2004, 09:27 AM
#3
I Enjoy Posting At StuntLife!
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: Shelby Twp., MI
Age: 43
Posts: 4,513
Re: Friday Jokes...
Miracle of Toilet Paper
Fresh from my shower, I stand in front of the mirror complaining to
my husband that my breasts are too small. Instead of
characteristically telling me it's not so, he uncharacteristically
comes up with a suggestion.
"If you want your breasts to grow, then every day take a piece of
toilet paper and rub it between your breasts for a few seconds."
Willing to try anything, I fetch a piece of toilet paper and stand
in front of the mirror, rubbing it between my breasts. "How long
will this take?" I asked.
"They will grow larger over a period of years," my husband replies.
I stopped. " Do you really think rubbing a piece of toilet paper
between my breasts every day will make my breasts larger over the years?"
Without missing a beat he says "Worked for your butt, didn't it?"
He's still alive and with a great deal of therapy, may even walk again. Stupid, stupid man.
Fresh from my shower, I stand in front of the mirror complaining to
my husband that my breasts are too small. Instead of
characteristically telling me it's not so, he uncharacteristically
comes up with a suggestion.
"If you want your breasts to grow, then every day take a piece of
toilet paper and rub it between your breasts for a few seconds."
Willing to try anything, I fetch a piece of toilet paper and stand
in front of the mirror, rubbing it between my breasts. "How long
will this take?" I asked.
"They will grow larger over a period of years," my husband replies.
I stopped. " Do you really think rubbing a piece of toilet paper
between my breasts every day will make my breasts larger over the years?"
Without missing a beat he says "Worked for your butt, didn't it?"
He's still alive and with a great deal of therapy, may even walk again. Stupid, stupid man.
04-02-2004, 09:30 AM
#4
I Love To Post!
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: Clinton Township MI
Age: 45
Posts: 7,376
Re: Friday Jokes...
MMMM.. K.. NOt sure bought this one, but kinda funny.. I guess...
http://www.topeuro.co.uk/blagger/the_duel.html
http://www.topeuro.co.uk/blagger/the_duel.html
04-02-2004, 09:36 AM
#6
I Love To Post!
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: Clinton Township MI
Age: 45
Posts: 7,376
Re: Friday Jokes...
Did you hear about the two blondes who froze to death in a drive-in
movie?
They went to see "Closed for the Winter."
***************
Why did the blonde resolve to have only 3 children? She heard that 1 out
of every 4 children born in the world was Chinese.
***************
Bambi (a blonde) goes to the local novelty shop and finds a pair of
x-ray glasses. She checks them out, and isn't fully convinced, but as
usual, the store assistant comes along and closes the deal.
On her way home, Bambi puts on her new x-ray glasses and, bingo! She
sees everyone in the street naked. She takes them off for a moment, and
everyone has their clothes on. Puts the glasses back on...everyone is
naked! "Cool!"
As she arrives back home, she is eager to show her new toy to her
husband, but can't find him. She goes up to the bedroom and finds her
husband and the young woman from next door naked in bed. She takes the
glasses off, and the two are still naked. She put them back on, and they
are still naked. Bambi then says: "Darn, I just paid fifty bucks for
these
and they're already broken!"
**************
A blonde hurries into the emergency room late one night with the tip of
her index finger shot off. "How did this happen?" the emergency room
doctor asked her.
"Well, I was trying to commit suicide," the blonde replied.
"What?" sputtered the doctor. "You tried to commit suicide by shooting
your finger off?"
"No, Silly!" the blonde said. "First I put the gun to my chest, and I
thought: I just paid $6,000.00 for these breast implants, I'm not
shooting myself in the chest."
"So then?" asked the doctor.
"Then I put the gun in my mouth, and I thought: I just paid $3000.00 to
get my teeth straightened, I'm not shooting myself in the mouth."
"So then?"
"Then I put the gun to my ear, and I thought: This is going to make a
loud noise. So I put my finger in the other ear before I pulled the
trigger."
*****************
Did you hear about the near-tragedy at the mall?
There was a power outage, and twelve blondes were stuck on the
escalators for over four hours.
*****************
A blonde was driving home after a game and got caught in a really bad
hailstorm. Her car was covered with dents, so the next day she took it
to a repair shop. The shop owner saw that she was a blonde, so he
decided to have some fun. He told her just to go home and blow into the
tail pipe really hard, and all the dents would pop out.
So, the blonde went home, got down on her hands and knees and started
blowing into her tailpipe. Nothing happened. So she blew a little
harder, and still nothing happen.
Her roommate, another blonde, came home and said, "What are you doing?
The first blonde told her how the repairman had instructed her to blow
into the tail pipe in order to get all the dents to pop out.
The roommate rolled her eyes and said, "Uh, like hello! You need to roll
up the windows first."
****************
A blonde went to an eye doctor to have her eyes checked for glasses.
The doctor directed her to read various letters with the left eye while
covering the right eye.
The blonde was so mixed up on which eye was which that the eye doctor,
in disgust, took a paper lunch bag with a hole to see through, covered
up the appropriate eye and asked her to read the letters. As he did so,
he noticed the blonde had tears streaming down her face.
"Look," said the doctor, "there's no need to get emotional about getting
glasses."
"I know," agreed the blonde, "But I kind of had my heart set on wire
frames."
****************
A blonde was shopping at a Target Store and came across a silver
thermos. She was quite fascinated by it, so she picked it up and brought
it over to the clerk to ask what it was.
The clerk said, "Why, that's a thermos.....it keeps things hot and some
things cold."
"Wow, said the blonde, "that's amazing....I'm going to buy it !"
So she bought the thermos and took it to work the next day.
Her boss saw it on her desk. "What's that,' he asked?
"Why, that's a thermos.....it keeps hot things hot and cold things
cold," she replied.
Her boss inquired, What do you have in it?"
The blond replied, "Two popsicles, and some coffee".
movie?
They went to see "Closed for the Winter."
***************
Why did the blonde resolve to have only 3 children? She heard that 1 out
of every 4 children born in the world was Chinese.
***************
Bambi (a blonde) goes to the local novelty shop and finds a pair of
x-ray glasses. She checks them out, and isn't fully convinced, but as
usual, the store assistant comes along and closes the deal.
On her way home, Bambi puts on her new x-ray glasses and, bingo! She
sees everyone in the street naked. She takes them off for a moment, and
everyone has their clothes on. Puts the glasses back on...everyone is
naked! "Cool!"
As she arrives back home, she is eager to show her new toy to her
husband, but can't find him. She goes up to the bedroom and finds her
husband and the young woman from next door naked in bed. She takes the
glasses off, and the two are still naked. She put them back on, and they
are still naked. Bambi then says: "Darn, I just paid fifty bucks for
these
and they're already broken!"
**************
A blonde hurries into the emergency room late one night with the tip of
her index finger shot off. "How did this happen?" the emergency room
doctor asked her.
"Well, I was trying to commit suicide," the blonde replied.
"What?" sputtered the doctor. "You tried to commit suicide by shooting
your finger off?"
"No, Silly!" the blonde said. "First I put the gun to my chest, and I
thought: I just paid $6,000.00 for these breast implants, I'm not
shooting myself in the chest."
"So then?" asked the doctor.
"Then I put the gun in my mouth, and I thought: I just paid $3000.00 to
get my teeth straightened, I'm not shooting myself in the mouth."
"So then?"
"Then I put the gun to my ear, and I thought: This is going to make a
loud noise. So I put my finger in the other ear before I pulled the
trigger."
*****************
Did you hear about the near-tragedy at the mall?
There was a power outage, and twelve blondes were stuck on the
escalators for over four hours.
*****************
A blonde was driving home after a game and got caught in a really bad
hailstorm. Her car was covered with dents, so the next day she took it
to a repair shop. The shop owner saw that she was a blonde, so he
decided to have some fun. He told her just to go home and blow into the
tail pipe really hard, and all the dents would pop out.
So, the blonde went home, got down on her hands and knees and started
blowing into her tailpipe. Nothing happened. So she blew a little
harder, and still nothing happen.
Her roommate, another blonde, came home and said, "What are you doing?
The first blonde told her how the repairman had instructed her to blow
into the tail pipe in order to get all the dents to pop out.
The roommate rolled her eyes and said, "Uh, like hello! You need to roll
up the windows first."
****************
A blonde went to an eye doctor to have her eyes checked for glasses.
The doctor directed her to read various letters with the left eye while
covering the right eye.
The blonde was so mixed up on which eye was which that the eye doctor,
in disgust, took a paper lunch bag with a hole to see through, covered
up the appropriate eye and asked her to read the letters. As he did so,
he noticed the blonde had tears streaming down her face.
"Look," said the doctor, "there's no need to get emotional about getting
glasses."
"I know," agreed the blonde, "But I kind of had my heart set on wire
frames."
****************
A blonde was shopping at a Target Store and came across a silver
thermos. She was quite fascinated by it, so she picked it up and brought
it over to the clerk to ask what it was.
The clerk said, "Why, that's a thermos.....it keeps things hot and some
things cold."
"Wow, said the blonde, "that's amazing....I'm going to buy it !"
So she bought the thermos and took it to work the next day.
Her boss saw it on her desk. "What's that,' he asked?
"Why, that's a thermos.....it keeps hot things hot and cold things
cold," she replied.
Her boss inquired, What do you have in it?"
The blond replied, "Two popsicles, and some coffee".
04-02-2004, 09:42 AM
#8
I Love To Post!
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: Clinton Township MI
Age: 45
Posts: 7,376
Re: Friday Jokes...
Originally Posted by ChoCha's Roomie
Hey since you are PWing I assume no Milford and you can come to lunch today???????? MMMmmmmmmm Champps fatty food
I dunno... I wanna bolt outta here early as possible today, and that wont happen if i take a long lunch.
04-02-2004, 09:46 AM
#9
I Enjoy Posting At StuntLife!
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: Shelby Twp., MI
Age: 43
Posts: 4,513
Re: Friday Jokes...
Originally Posted by ChoCha
I dunno... I wanna bolt outta here early as possible today, and that wont happen if i take a long lunch.
04-02-2004, 09:54 AM
#11
Registered User
Join Date: May 2003
Location: Roseville, MI
Age: 50
Posts: 4,703
Re: Friday Jokes...
Originally Posted by ChoCha
I dunno... I wanna bolt outta here early as possible today, and that wont happen if i take a long lunch.
04-02-2004, 01:02 PM
#12
Registered User
Join Date: May 2003
Location: Roseville, MI
Age: 50
Posts: 4,703
Re: Friday Jokes...
Here's a dumb one 4 ya, remember i am trying to waste your time at work....
1. How Do You Catch a Unique Rabbit?
Unique Up On It
2. How Do You Catch a Tame Rabbit?
Tame Way, Unique Up On It
3. How Do Crazy People Go Through The Forest?
They Take The Psycho Path
4. How Do You Get Holy Water?
You Boil The Hell Out Of It
5. What Do Fish Say When They Hit a Concrete Wall?
Dam!
6. What Do Eskimos Get From Sitting On The Ice too Long?
Polaroids
7. What Do You Call a Boomerang That Doesn't work?
A Stick
8. What Do You Call Cheese That Isn't Yours?
Nacho Cheese
9. What Do You Call Santa's Helpers?
Subordinate Clauses
10. What Do You Call Four Bullfighters In Quicksand?
Quattro Sinko
11. What Do You Get From a Pampered Cow?
Spoiled Milk
12. What Do You Get When You Cross a Snowman With a Vampire?
Frostbite
13. What Lies At The Bottom Of The Ocean And Twitches?
A Nervous Wreck
14. What's The Difference Between Roast Beef And Pea Soup?
Anyone Can Roast Beef
15. Where Do You Find a Dog With No Legs?
` Right Where You Left Him
16. Why Do Gorillas Have Big Nostrils?
Because They Have Big Fingers
17. Why Don't Blind People Like To Sky Dive?
Because It Scares The Dog
18. What Kind Of Coffee Was Served On The Titanic?
Sanka
19. What Is The Difference Between a Harley And a Hoover?
The Location Of The Dirt Bag
20. Why Did Pilgrims' Pants Always Fall Down?
Because They Wore Their Belt Buckle On Their Hat
21. What's The Difference Between a Bad Golfer, and a Bad
Skydiver?
A Bad Golfer Goes ... Whack, "Crap"!
A Bad Skydiver Goes . "Crap"!, Whack!
22. How are a Texas Tornado & A Tennessee Divorce The Same?
Somebody's Gonna Lose A Trailer!!
1. How Do You Catch a Unique Rabbit?
Unique Up On It
2. How Do You Catch a Tame Rabbit?
Tame Way, Unique Up On It
3. How Do Crazy People Go Through The Forest?
They Take The Psycho Path
4. How Do You Get Holy Water?
You Boil The Hell Out Of It
5. What Do Fish Say When They Hit a Concrete Wall?
Dam!
6. What Do Eskimos Get From Sitting On The Ice too Long?
Polaroids
7. What Do You Call a Boomerang That Doesn't work?
A Stick
8. What Do You Call Cheese That Isn't Yours?
Nacho Cheese
9. What Do You Call Santa's Helpers?
Subordinate Clauses
10. What Do You Call Four Bullfighters In Quicksand?
Quattro Sinko
11. What Do You Get From a Pampered Cow?
Spoiled Milk
12. What Do You Get When You Cross a Snowman With a Vampire?
Frostbite
13. What Lies At The Bottom Of The Ocean And Twitches?
A Nervous Wreck
14. What's The Difference Between Roast Beef And Pea Soup?
Anyone Can Roast Beef
15. Where Do You Find a Dog With No Legs?
` Right Where You Left Him
16. Why Do Gorillas Have Big Nostrils?
Because They Have Big Fingers
17. Why Don't Blind People Like To Sky Dive?
Because It Scares The Dog
18. What Kind Of Coffee Was Served On The Titanic?
Sanka
19. What Is The Difference Between a Harley And a Hoover?
The Location Of The Dirt Bag
20. Why Did Pilgrims' Pants Always Fall Down?
Because They Wore Their Belt Buckle On Their Hat
21. What's The Difference Between a Bad Golfer, and a Bad
Skydiver?
A Bad Golfer Goes ... Whack, "Crap"!
A Bad Skydiver Goes . "Crap"!, Whack!
22. How are a Texas Tornado & A Tennessee Divorce The Same?
Somebody's Gonna Lose A Trailer!!
04-02-2004, 01:16 PM
#13
I Enjoy Posting At StuntLife!
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: Shelby Twp., MI
Age: 43
Posts: 4,513
Re: Friday Jokes...
A father watched his daughter playing in the garden. He smiled as he
reflected on how sweet and innocent his little girl was. Suddenly she just
stopped and stared at the ground. He went over to her and noticed she
was looking at two spiders mating.
"Daddy, what are those two spiders doing?" she asked.
"They're mating," her father replied.
"What do you call the spider on top, Daddy?" she asked.
"That's a Daddy Longlegs." Her father answered.
"So, the other one is Mommy Longlegs?" the little girl asked.
"No," her father replied. "Both of them are Daddy Longlegs."
The little girl thought for a moment, then took her foot and stomped
them flat.
"Well, that might be OK in California and Massachusetts... but we're
not having any of that **** in Michigan!"
reflected on how sweet and innocent his little girl was. Suddenly she just
stopped and stared at the ground. He went over to her and noticed she
was looking at two spiders mating.
"Daddy, what are those two spiders doing?" she asked.
"They're mating," her father replied.
"What do you call the spider on top, Daddy?" she asked.
"That's a Daddy Longlegs." Her father answered.
"So, the other one is Mommy Longlegs?" the little girl asked.
"No," her father replied. "Both of them are Daddy Longlegs."
The little girl thought for a moment, then took her foot and stomped
them flat.
"Well, that might be OK in California and Massachusetts... but we're
not having any of that **** in Michigan!"
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