Beer
#1
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Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: Up In Here
Age: 51
Posts: 1,113
Beer
"Sometimes when I reflect back on all the beer I drink I feel
> > >ashamed.
> > > > >Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the
>brewery
> > > > >and all of their hopes and dreams. If I didn't drink this beer,
>they
> > > > >might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. Then I
>say
> > >to
> > > > >myself, "It 's better that I drink this beer and let their dreams
> > >come
> > > > >true than be selfish and worry about my liver."
> > > > >
> > > > >- Jack Handy
> > > > >~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~
> > > > >
> > > > >"I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the
> > > > >morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day."
> > > > >
> > > > >- Frank Sinatra
> > > > >~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~
> > > > >
> > > > >"An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk in order to
>spend
> > > > >time with his friends."
> > > > >
> > > > >- Ernest Hemingway
> > > > >~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~
> > > > >
> > > > >"When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading."
> > > > >
> > > > >-Henny Youngman
> > > > >~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~
> > > > >
> > > > >"24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? I think not."
> > > > >
> > > > >- Stephen Wright
> > > > >~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~
> > > > >
> > > > >"When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep.
> > >When
> > > > >we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to
> > > > >heaven.
> > > > >Sooooo, let's all get drunk and go to heaven!"
> > > > >
> > > > >- Brian O'Rourke
> > > > >~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~
> > > > >
> > > > >"Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."
> > > > >
> > > > >- Benjamin Franklin
> > > > >~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~
> > > > >
> > > > >"Without question, the greatest invention in the history of
mankind
> > >is
> > > > >beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention,
>but
> > >the
> > > >
> > > > >wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza."
> > > > >
> > > > >- Dave Barry
> > > > >~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~
> > > > >
> > > > >BEER: HELPING UGLY PEOPLE HAVE SEX SINCE 3000 B.C.!!!
> > > > >
> > > > >- "Genesis"
> > > > >~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~
> > > > >
> > > > >Remember "I" before "E", except in Budweiser.
> > > > >
> > > > >~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~
> > > > >
> > > > >To some it's a six-pack; to me it's a Support Group.
> > > > >~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~
> > > > >
> > > > >And, saving the best for last, as explained by Cliff Clavin, of
> > >Cheers.
> > > > >
> > > > >One afternoon at Cheers, Cliff Clavin was explaining the Buffalo
> > >Theory
> > > > >to his buddy Norm. Here's how it went: "Well ya see, Norm, it's
>like
> > > > >this...
> > > > >A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo.
>And
> > > > >when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the
> > >back
> > > > >that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd
>as
> > >a
> > > > >whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group
>keeps
> > > > >improving by the regular killing of the weakest members.
> > > > >
> > > > >"In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as
> > >the
> > > > >slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know,
>kills
> > > > >brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest
>brain
> > > > >cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates
>the
> > > > >weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient
> > > > >machine. That's why you always feel smarter after a few beers.
> > >ashamed.
> > > > >Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the
>brewery
> > > > >and all of their hopes and dreams. If I didn't drink this beer,
>they
> > > > >might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. Then I
>say
> > >to
> > > > >myself, "It 's better that I drink this beer and let their dreams
> > >come
> > > > >true than be selfish and worry about my liver."
> > > > >
> > > > >- Jack Handy
> > > > >~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~
> > > > >
> > > > >"I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the
> > > > >morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day."
> > > > >
> > > > >- Frank Sinatra
> > > > >~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~
> > > > >
> > > > >"An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk in order to
>spend
> > > > >time with his friends."
> > > > >
> > > > >- Ernest Hemingway
> > > > >~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~
> > > > >
> > > > >"When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading."
> > > > >
> > > > >-Henny Youngman
> > > > >~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~
> > > > >
> > > > >"24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? I think not."
> > > > >
> > > > >- Stephen Wright
> > > > >~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~
> > > > >
> > > > >"When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep.
> > >When
> > > > >we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to
> > > > >heaven.
> > > > >Sooooo, let's all get drunk and go to heaven!"
> > > > >
> > > > >- Brian O'Rourke
> > > > >~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~
> > > > >
> > > > >"Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."
> > > > >
> > > > >- Benjamin Franklin
> > > > >~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~
> > > > >
> > > > >"Without question, the greatest invention in the history of
mankind
> > >is
> > > > >beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention,
>but
> > >the
> > > >
> > > > >wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza."
> > > > >
> > > > >- Dave Barry
> > > > >~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~
> > > > >
> > > > >BEER: HELPING UGLY PEOPLE HAVE SEX SINCE 3000 B.C.!!!
> > > > >
> > > > >- "Genesis"
> > > > >~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~
> > > > >
> > > > >Remember "I" before "E", except in Budweiser.
> > > > >
> > > > >~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~
> > > > >
> > > > >To some it's a six-pack; to me it's a Support Group.
> > > > >~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~
> > > > >
> > > > >And, saving the best for last, as explained by Cliff Clavin, of
> > >Cheers.
> > > > >
> > > > >One afternoon at Cheers, Cliff Clavin was explaining the Buffalo
> > >Theory
> > > > >to his buddy Norm. Here's how it went: "Well ya see, Norm, it's
>like
> > > > >this...
> > > > >A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo.
>And
> > > > >when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the
> > >back
> > > > >that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd
>as
> > >a
> > > > >whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group
>keeps
> > > > >improving by the regular killing of the weakest members.
> > > > >
> > > > >"In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as
> > >the
> > > > >slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know,
>kills
> > > > >brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest
>brain
> > > > >cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates
>the
> > > > >weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient
> > > > >machine. That's why you always feel smarter after a few beers.
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