Rules for People New to Detroit!!!!
07-12-2003, 08:50 PM
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Rules for People New to Detroit!!!!
For those of you who plan to visit Detroit, here are few rules to follow:
1. You must learn to pronounce the city name. It's Di-troit - NOT Dee-troit. If you pronounce it Dee-Troit then we will assume you are from Toledo and here for the country Music hoe-down.
2. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Detroit has its own version of traffic rules ... Hold on and pray! There is no such thing as a dangerous high-speed chase in Detroit. Everyone drives like that.
3. When asking for directions, all directions start with, "What do I look like - #!#*!!# Triple A?"
4. The Chamber of Commerce calls getting through rush hour traffic on Jefferson as a "Scenic Drive."
5. The morning rush hour is from 6:00 to 10:00am. The evening rush hour is from 3:00 to 7:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts Thursday morning. Weekends are open game.
6. If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear-ended, cussed out and possibly shot. When you're first off the starting line, count to five when the light turns green before going, to avoid getting into any cross-traffic's way and then again shot.
7. Schoenherr can ONLY be properly pronounced by a native of the Detroit metro area. That goes for Gratiot too. (shane-er/grash-ot).
8. Construction and renovations on I-94, I-96, I-75 and I-275 is a way of life and a permanent form of entertainment.
9. All unexplained and unpleasant sights are simplified by the phrase, "I guess we're not in Kansas anymore!"
10. If someone actually has their turn signal on, it is probably a factory defect or they are "out-of-towners."
11. All old ladies with blue hair in a pink Cadillac have total right-of-way.
12. The minimum acceptable speed on 696 is 85 regardless of the posted speeds. Anything less is considered downright SISSY.
13. The wrought iron on windows in Detroit is NOT ornamental. "DON'T get out of your car"
14. Never stare at the driver of the car with the bumper sticker that says "Keep honking, I'm reloading."
15. If you are in the left lane, and only going 70 in a 60 mph zone, people are not waving 'because they are so friendly in Detroit.' I would suggest you duck.
16. I-275/I-696 is our daily version of NASCAR.
17. You must go a quarter of a mile out of your way to make a left hand
1. You must learn to pronounce the city name. It's Di-troit - NOT Dee-troit. If you pronounce it Dee-Troit then we will assume you are from Toledo and here for the country Music hoe-down.
2. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Detroit has its own version of traffic rules ... Hold on and pray! There is no such thing as a dangerous high-speed chase in Detroit. Everyone drives like that.
3. When asking for directions, all directions start with, "What do I look like - #!#*!!# Triple A?"
4. The Chamber of Commerce calls getting through rush hour traffic on Jefferson as a "Scenic Drive."
5. The morning rush hour is from 6:00 to 10:00am. The evening rush hour is from 3:00 to 7:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts Thursday morning. Weekends are open game.
6. If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear-ended, cussed out and possibly shot. When you're first off the starting line, count to five when the light turns green before going, to avoid getting into any cross-traffic's way and then again shot.
7. Schoenherr can ONLY be properly pronounced by a native of the Detroit metro area. That goes for Gratiot too. (shane-er/grash-ot).
8. Construction and renovations on I-94, I-96, I-75 and I-275 is a way of life and a permanent form of entertainment.
9. All unexplained and unpleasant sights are simplified by the phrase, "I guess we're not in Kansas anymore!"
10. If someone actually has their turn signal on, it is probably a factory defect or they are "out-of-towners."
11. All old ladies with blue hair in a pink Cadillac have total right-of-way.
12. The minimum acceptable speed on 696 is 85 regardless of the posted speeds. Anything less is considered downright SISSY.
13. The wrought iron on windows in Detroit is NOT ornamental. "DON'T get out of your car"
14. Never stare at the driver of the car with the bumper sticker that says "Keep honking, I'm reloading."
15. If you are in the left lane, and only going 70 in a 60 mph zone, people are not waving 'because they are so friendly in Detroit.' I would suggest you duck.
16. I-275/I-696 is our daily version of NASCAR.
17. You must go a quarter of a mile out of your way to make a left hand
07-12-2003, 09:25 PM
#2
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Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: .
Posts: 7,073
Re: Rules for People New to Detroit!!!!
Originally posted by DieselC
5. The morning rush hour is from 6:00 to 10:00am. The evening rush hour is from 3:00 to 7:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts Thursday morning. Weekends are open game.
5. The morning rush hour is from 6:00 to 10:00am. The evening rush hour is from 3:00 to 7:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts Thursday morning. Weekends are open game.
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