Skin Transplant Surgery
> A married couple was in a terrible accident where the woman's
face was
> severely burned. The doctor told the husband that they couldn't graft
any
> skin from her body because she was too skinny. So the husband offered
to
> donate some of his own skin. However, the only skin on his body that
the
> doctor felt was suitable would have to come from his buttocks. The
husband
> and wife agreed that they would tell no one about where the skin
came
from,
> and requested that the doctor also honor their secret. After all,
this
was
> a very delicate matter.
> After the surgery was complete, everyone was astounded at the
woman's
> new beauty. She looked more beautiful than ever before. All her
friends
and
> relatives would constantly go on and on about her youthful beauty.
> One day she was alone with her husband, and was overcome with
emotion
at
> his sacrifice. She said, "Dear, I just want to thank you for
everything
you
> did for me. There is no way I could ever repay you."
> "My darling," he replied, "think nothing of it. I get all the
thanks I
> need every time I see your mother kiss you on the cheek."

 

> >> > > ----- , > > > > > > > Girls Night Out
> > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > >The other night I was invited out for a night with "the
> girls".
> > > > > > > > > > I told my husband that I would be home by midnight
...
"I
> > > > > promise!"
> > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > Well, the hours passed and the champagne was going
down
> way
> > > > > > > > > > too easy. Around 3 a.m., drunk as a skunk, I
headed for
> > home.
> > > > > Just
> > > > > > >as
> > > > > > > >I
> > > > > > > > > >got in the door, the cuckoo clock in the hall
started up
> and
> > > > > > >cuckooed
> > > > > > > >3
> > > > > > > > > >times.
> > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > Quickly, realizing he'd probably wake up, I
cuckooed
> > another
> > > 9
> > > > > > > > > > times. I was really proud of myself for coming up
with
> such
> > a
> > > > > > > > > > quick-witted solution (even when smashed), in
order to
> > escape
> > > > > a
> > > > > > > >possible
> > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > >conflict with him.
> > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > The next morning my husband asked me what time I
got
in,
> > and
> > > I
> > > > > > > > > > told him 12 o'clock. He didn't seem disturbed at
all.
> Whew!
> > > > > Got
> > > > > > >away
> > > > > > > >with
> > > > > > > > > >that one!
> > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > Then he said we need a new cuckoo clock. When I
asked
him
> > > > > > > > > > why, he said, "Well, last night our clock cuckooed
three
> > > > > times,
> > > > > > > > > > then said, "Oh ****!", cuckooed 4 more times,
cleared
> it's
> > > > > throat,
> > > > > > > > > >cuckooed another 3 times, giggled, cuckooed twice
more,
> and
> > > > > then
> > > > > > > >farted."

 

A woman takes a lover during the day, while her husband is at work.
One
> day,
> > her 9-year-old son hides in the closet during one of her romps. Her
> husband
> > comes home unexpectedly, so she hides the lover in the closet.
> >
> > The little boy says, "It's dark in here."
> > The man whispers, "Yes, it is."
> > Boy - "I have a baseball."
> > Man - "That's nice."
> > Boy - "Want to buy it?"
> > Man - "No, thanks."
> > Boy - "My dad's outside."
> > Man - "OK, how much?"
> > Boy - "$250."
> >
> > In the next few weeks, it happens again that the boy and the mom's
lover
> > end up in the closet together.
> >
> > Boy - "It's dark in here."
> > Man - "Yes, it is."
> > Boy - "I have a baseball glove."
> > Man - Remembering last time, asks, "How much?"
> > Boy - "$750."
> > Man - "Fine."
> >
> > A few days later, the father says to the boy, "Grab your ball and
glove.
> > Let's go outside and toss the baseball."
> >
> > The boy says, "I can't. I sold them."
> >
> > The father asks, "How much did you sell them for?"
> >
> > The son says "$1,000."
> >
> > The father says, "It's terrible to overcharge your friends like
that.
> > That's way more than those two things cost. I'm going to take you
to
> church
> > and make you confess."
> >
> > They go to the church and the father makes the little boy sit in
the
> > confession booth and he closes the door.
> >
> > The boy says, "It's dark in here."
> >
> > The priest says, "Don't start that again!"

 

If you think life is bad.....



How would you like to be an egg?





You only get laid once.





You only get eaten once.




It takes four minutes to get hard.





Only two minutes to get soft.




You share your box with 6 other guys




But worst of all..




the only chick that ever sat on your face was your mother!!!




So cheer up, Your life ain't that bad!!!!




Pass it around to someone who you feel can use a good lay,




Oops....I mean day!!!!!

 

As a trucker stops for a red light, a blonde catches up. She jumps
>out of her car, runs up to his truck, and knocks on the door. The trucker
>lowers the window, and she says "Hi, my name is Heather and you are losing
>some of your load." The trucker ignores her and proceeds down the street.
>
> When the truck stops for another red light, the girl again catches
>up
>again. She jumps out of her car, runs up and knocks on the door. Again,
>the trucker lowers the window. As if they've never spoken, the blonde says
>brightly, "Hi my name is Heather, and you are losing some of your load!"
>Shaking his head, the trucker ignores her again and continues down the
>street.
>
> At the third red light, the same thing happens again. All out of
>breath, the blonde gets out of her car, runs up, knocks on the truck door.
>
>The trucker lowers the window. Again she says "Hi, my name is Heather, and
>
>you are losing some of your load!"
>
> When the light turns green, the trucker revs up and races to the
>next
>light. When he stops this time, he hurriedly gets out of the truck, and
>runs back to the blonde. He knocks on her window, and as she lowers it, he
>
>says...
>
> "Hi, my name is Kevin, it's winter in Michigan and I'm driving the
>SALT TRUCK!"

 

Cowboy Cowboy in a Gay Bar
> > >> > >
> > >> > > A cowboy walks into a bar and two steps in, he realizes it's
> > >> > > a gay bar.
> > >> > > "But what the heck," he says to himself, I really want a
> > >> > > drink."
> > >> > >
> > >> > > When the gay waiter approaches, he says to the cowboy,
> > >> > > "What's the name of your *****?"
> > >> > >
> > >> > > The cowboy says, "Look, I'm not into any of that. All I want
> > >> > > is a drink."
> > >> > >
> > >> > > The gay waiter says, "I'm sorry but I can't serve you until
> > >> > > you tell
> > >> > > me the name of your *****. Mine for instance is called Nike,
> > >> > > for the slogan
> > >> > > 'Just Do It.'
> > >> > >
> > >> > > That guy down at the end of the bar calls his Snickers,
> > >> > > because 'It really
> > >> > > Satisfies'."
> > >> > >
> > >> > > The cowboy looks dumbfounded so the bartender tells
> > >> > > him he will give him a second to think it over. So the
> > >> > > cowboy asks the man sitting to his left, who is sipping on a
> > >> > > beer, "Hey
> > >> > > bud, what's the name of yours?"
> > >> > >
> > >> > > The man looks back and says with a smile "TIMEX."
> > >> > >
> > >> > > The thirsty cowboy asks, "Why Timex?"
> > >> > >
> > >> > > The fella proudly replies, "Cause it takes a lickin' and
> > >> > > keeps on tickin'!"
> > >> > >
> > >> > > A little shaken, the cowboy turns to the fella on his
> > >> > > right, who is sipping a fruity Margarita and says,
> > >> > > "So, what do you call yours?"
> > >> > >
> > >> > > The man turns to him and proudly exclaims, "FORD,
> > >> > > because Quality is Job One." Then he adds, "Have you
> > >> > > driven a Ford, lately?"
> > >> > >
> > >> > > Even more shaken, the Cowboy has to think for a moment
> > >> > > before he comes
> > >> > > up with a name for his manhood.
> > >> > >
> > >> > > Finally, he turns to the bartender and exclaims, "The
> > >> > > name of my ***** is SECRET. Now give me a beer."
> > >> > >
> > >> > > The bartender begins to pour the cowboy a beer, but
> > >> > > with a puzzled look asks, "Why Secret?"
> > >> > >
> > >> > > The cowboy says, "Because it's STRONG ENOUGH FOR A
> > >> > > MAN, BUT MADE FOR A WOMAN!"

 

sorrry everyone i was bored

 

your just a post *****

 

AND YOUR A RAINBOW *****