random jokes : )
08-12-2004, 03:47 AM
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Location: St. Louis, Missouri
Age: 40
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random jokes : )
Lawyers Brain
A lawyer finds out he has an inoperable brain tumor. It's so large, they have to do a brain transplant.
His doctor gives him a choice of available brains.
There's a jar of rocket scientist brains for $10 an ounce,
a jar of regular scientist brains for $15 an ounce,
and a jar of lawyer brains for the sum of $800 an ounce.
The outraged lawyer says, "This is a ripoff! How come the lawyer brains are so damned expensive?"
The doctor replies, "Do you know how many lawyers it takes to get an ounce of brains?"
Bear and Boy Scout
A Boy Scout was walking down the trail when he spotted a bear behind him. He thought, "Maybe I should walk a little faster".
He picked up his pace and glanced back to see the bear double timing too.
At that point he broke into a run and just after he noticed the bear was on a dead run, he turned back to find himself at the edge of a high cliff. He got down on his knees and prayed, "Father, please make a Christian of this bear".
Just then he heard the bear saying, "Bless, oh Father, these gifts I am about to receive."
Student test
A professor was giving a big test one day to his students. He handed out all of the tests and went back to his desk to wait.
Once the test was over, the students all handed the tests back. The professor noticed that one of the students had attached a $100 bill to his test with a note saying "A dollar a point."
The next class the professor handed the tests back out.
This student got back his test and $56 change.
A lawyer finds out he has an inoperable brain tumor. It's so large, they have to do a brain transplant.
His doctor gives him a choice of available brains.
There's a jar of rocket scientist brains for $10 an ounce,
a jar of regular scientist brains for $15 an ounce,
and a jar of lawyer brains for the sum of $800 an ounce.
The outraged lawyer says, "This is a ripoff! How come the lawyer brains are so damned expensive?"
The doctor replies, "Do you know how many lawyers it takes to get an ounce of brains?"
Bear and Boy Scout
A Boy Scout was walking down the trail when he spotted a bear behind him. He thought, "Maybe I should walk a little faster".
He picked up his pace and glanced back to see the bear double timing too.
At that point he broke into a run and just after he noticed the bear was on a dead run, he turned back to find himself at the edge of a high cliff. He got down on his knees and prayed, "Father, please make a Christian of this bear".
Just then he heard the bear saying, "Bless, oh Father, these gifts I am about to receive."
Student test
A professor was giving a big test one day to his students. He handed out all of the tests and went back to his desk to wait.
Once the test was over, the students all handed the tests back. The professor noticed that one of the students had attached a $100 bill to his test with a note saying "A dollar a point."
The next class the professor handed the tests back out.
This student got back his test and $56 change.
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