All Types Of Fvcks.
09-30-2005, 08:04 PM
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Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Would you be shocked if I said Chicago?
Age: 46
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All Types Of Fvcks.
ahhaha, someone posted this on myspace and I thought it was funny 
The Revenge ****- Usually derived from vengefulness towards your new ex that did you wrong... You wind up sleeping with their best friend, or even one of THEIR exes, to make yourself feel better.
The Sympathy ****- A **** that's usually not so sweet...Done out of pity for the sad mother****er that doesnt feel very highly of him/herself. Goes along the same lines as the mercy ****... read on...
The Good-bye ****- Can be a very good ****. Used when the other person is moving, or when your boyfriend/girlfriend and you break up, but you wanna carve one more notch in your bedpost...
The Apology ****- C'mon, you know this one.... It's the "I'm sorry, I won't do it again... Lemme **** you to show you how sorry I am" kinda ****.
The Mercy ****- A **** that you aren't doing becuase you desire the person so much, but you want them to feel worthy of something... They are still sexy... That bag of M&M's doesn't mean a thing...
The I've Never Slept With A (insert:hispanic, amputee, sernior citizen, jew, ect.) ****- Which is about broadening your horizons... Or just scratching a curious itch.
The Validation ****- This is the **** you give yourself, to make sure you still can. Ususally happens after heart break, surgury, 40th bday, ect...
The Drunk ****- Less Noble and usually involves somebody you wouldnt normally ****. Somebody who at the end of the night seems suprisingly more attractive. Sometimes also involves an apology- "This doesnt usually happen to me. Sorry. I don't know why it's just flopping around like that..." (hahaahh ****in crackin up- love it!)
The Second Choice ****- Example- The girl/guy you been stalking all night at the party leaves with someone else. Usually hotter than you. His/her boyfriend/girlfriend approaches and says " What's up?" You realize you hadn't noticed him/her all night, but you take them home, by default.
The Blind Ambition ****- A **** that might further your career. Might involve somebody much older and less attractive than you, but their power makes it possible. Can't you think of someone that wasn't famous untill they ****ed a mega rap star?? It has happened....
The Am I Bi? ****- The **** that few men will admit, usually occurs in college.
The Sport ****- Speaking of college, this **** occurs during spring break where the goal is to accumulate as many sexual partners as possible. Often, spring break involves a mess of ****s,- Sport, Revenge, Am I Bi?, Drunk... Sometimes all those ****s can happen at the same time, with the same person, with MTV in the backround....
The Forbidden ****- No **** more scintillating than this one. It may include sex with your therapist, a friend of your mother's, or your girlfriend/boyfriend's younger sister/brother... Exciting and naughty.
Ok.. lets keep all our ****s here straight... well.. not that straight.......
The Horny ****- What gay man hasn't lowerd his standards to the flooor of the bar and had a simple Horny ****? When the look of a person matters less than the fact that their body is warm....
...Of course, the body isnt always warm. This is what we call the SICK ****. Lets hope their arent too many of us that engage in such a ****.
The Star ****- People who are impressed with celebrities and sleep with them, maybe hoping to "swallow" a little of their fame.
The Bathroom ****- It's urgent, stolen, and phone numbers aren't usually exchanged. It's born from excitement- the thrill of getting caught and being naughty, or holding up a huge line of people that have to pee, just for kicks.
The Lazy ****- When your too tired to do some serious banging and you settle for something oral (or manual) and fast.
The Favor ****- When you give up your *** in exchange for something else- a trading tip, a lead on a great appartment, an 8 ball of cocaine, an audition... You scratch my back and ill scratch yours kinda ****.
The Procreative ****- This is what you do when you want to have a baby. Not about romance, it's about charts, timing, hormone levels, and hitching a ride on an egg. This is as close to a business casual **** as you're going to get.
Of course, all the ****'s i have discussed all have one thing in common. They all involve the presence of someone else. So what happens if there aint another person handy?
You know the answer to this one, don't be coy...
**** yourself
The Revenge ****- Usually derived from vengefulness towards your new ex that did you wrong... You wind up sleeping with their best friend, or even one of THEIR exes, to make yourself feel better.
The Sympathy ****- A **** that's usually not so sweet...Done out of pity for the sad mother****er that doesnt feel very highly of him/herself. Goes along the same lines as the mercy ****... read on...
The Good-bye ****- Can be a very good ****. Used when the other person is moving, or when your boyfriend/girlfriend and you break up, but you wanna carve one more notch in your bedpost...
The Apology ****- C'mon, you know this one.... It's the "I'm sorry, I won't do it again... Lemme **** you to show you how sorry I am" kinda ****.
The Mercy ****- A **** that you aren't doing becuase you desire the person so much, but you want them to feel worthy of something... They are still sexy... That bag of M&M's doesn't mean a thing...
The I've Never Slept With A (insert:hispanic, amputee, sernior citizen, jew, ect.) ****- Which is about broadening your horizons... Or just scratching a curious itch.
The Validation ****- This is the **** you give yourself, to make sure you still can. Ususally happens after heart break, surgury, 40th bday, ect...
The Drunk ****- Less Noble and usually involves somebody you wouldnt normally ****. Somebody who at the end of the night seems suprisingly more attractive. Sometimes also involves an apology- "This doesnt usually happen to me. Sorry. I don't know why it's just flopping around like that..." (hahaahh ****in crackin up- love it!)
The Second Choice ****- Example- The girl/guy you been stalking all night at the party leaves with someone else. Usually hotter than you. His/her boyfriend/girlfriend approaches and says " What's up?" You realize you hadn't noticed him/her all night, but you take them home, by default.
The Blind Ambition ****- A **** that might further your career. Might involve somebody much older and less attractive than you, but their power makes it possible. Can't you think of someone that wasn't famous untill they ****ed a mega rap star?? It has happened....
The Am I Bi? ****- The **** that few men will admit, usually occurs in college.
The Sport ****- Speaking of college, this **** occurs during spring break where the goal is to accumulate as many sexual partners as possible. Often, spring break involves a mess of ****s,- Sport, Revenge, Am I Bi?, Drunk... Sometimes all those ****s can happen at the same time, with the same person, with MTV in the backround....
The Forbidden ****- No **** more scintillating than this one. It may include sex with your therapist, a friend of your mother's, or your girlfriend/boyfriend's younger sister/brother... Exciting and naughty.
Ok.. lets keep all our ****s here straight... well.. not that straight.......
The Horny ****- What gay man hasn't lowerd his standards to the flooor of the bar and had a simple Horny ****? When the look of a person matters less than the fact that their body is warm....
...Of course, the body isnt always warm. This is what we call the SICK ****. Lets hope their arent too many of us that engage in such a ****.
The Star ****- People who are impressed with celebrities and sleep with them, maybe hoping to "swallow" a little of their fame.
The Bathroom ****- It's urgent, stolen, and phone numbers aren't usually exchanged. It's born from excitement- the thrill of getting caught and being naughty, or holding up a huge line of people that have to pee, just for kicks.
The Lazy ****- When your too tired to do some serious banging and you settle for something oral (or manual) and fast.
The Favor ****- When you give up your *** in exchange for something else- a trading tip, a lead on a great appartment, an 8 ball of cocaine, an audition... You scratch my back and ill scratch yours kinda ****.
The Procreative ****- This is what you do when you want to have a baby. Not about romance, it's about charts, timing, hormone levels, and hitching a ride on an egg. This is as close to a business casual **** as you're going to get.
Of course, all the ****'s i have discussed all have one thing in common. They all involve the presence of someone else. So what happens if there aint another person handy?
You know the answer to this one, don't be coy...
**** yourself
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