after doin a standup thru an intersection, my buddy and i pulled into a parking lot about a mile or two ahead... cop comes rollin up, parks right next to us and throws his cherries on...

cop- "son, do you have a problem keeping your front wheel on the ground??"
me- "umm, no sir"
cop-"well, do you have a problem getting it off the ground?"
me-"ummmmmmmm well actually..."

hahah... got off with a warning even tho he followed us for another few miles

 

pulled over for speeding
cop 'what the hell are you doing'
me ' speeding'
cop "oh"
let me go with nothing

 

Always get the "Tell me right now why I shouldn't arrest you". Umm I dont want to go to jail.

Another good one was at the Lake for memorial day, there is a bridge that everyone parks their boats by. Me and my friend from the Ruff Ryders were rockin a bunch of slow **** across it. Next day we're chilln in a parking lot by the bridge and a sheriff rolls up and tells us. "If you do another freaking wheelies across my freaking bridge, I'm going to take your freaking bike". Can you really take a cop serious that says freaking??????

 

 

well me and E-DUB wher going down the street at 830 at nite no tail light no plates ext the cops tells us to push the bike home and we wont get a ticket so we start to and he said as we push them away you should just put the licens plate on the mettel bumper on the back of the bike

 

"why were you just riding on 1 wheel??" my reply "i didnt know i just accelerated and it must have came up" him: "Do it again, I have been trying to learn wheelies on my CBR600" haha he was cool as **** must not have been 30. So now i ride with him quite a bit and he still gives me **** about that day hahahaha!! But yeah FTP for sure and he says FTP all the time too!!

THere was another time in Clearwater ( a month ago) a chick cop comes up to me and kinda started to harrase me about safety and i should only have one for the track and they should illegal. So i asked her "have you ever rode on one?" She said no so i gave her my helmet and she hopped on (after duty) and she loved it and was way cool to me afterwards and just told me thanks and have a good one....she was fine too

 

Me and some buddies(kurtis and anthony) were messin around and apparently this guy was just watching the whole time.

Cop- Do you know why I pulled you over??
Kurtis- Was it his stoppie?
Me- Shut up ***-tard!!!
Kurtis- No... dood... it was for that wheelie huh??
Anthony- Wait... was that before or after the burnouts??
Cop- Thats the thing with the smoke right?
Me- Man, you guys are not fukking helping!!!
Anthony- Dood.. if we run.. will you put us on that police chase show? Cuz we can do that!
Kurtis- Yeah! Dood... Lemme write my name on my shirt really quick.
Cop- ya'll shut up. Actually, I got you for speeding. Is there any readon for this?
Me- *straight BS* Um...... my throttle got stuck officer. Some guys put condoms on my handle bars. Today was a windy day, and dust was everywhere. I bet some dust got into my throttle and mixed with some leftover spermacide and forced me to exceed the speed limit by exactly 25 MPH.

As I was talking, the cop just walked away and grumble something like,"you're all morons". There was so much bullsh!t flying around you could cut it with a chainsaw.

 

 

i was doing 130 in a 30 and a cop pulled me over and asked me how fast i was going. i said 30 and he says BULLSHIT YOUR GOING TO JAIL, and arrests me. thats my luck.

but as usual they just impounded my bike and had to let me go because they couldn't clock me. if i could just have a free impound card i could buy myself a new bike with all the damned impounds and non-tickets or chargets

 

"what the hell were you thinking, didn't you see me there"

trooper called in a city cop to give us a lesser fine.

same trooper pulled me over in my truck after i got in an accident few days before, no taillights and i rolled through a stopsign. i pulled into a movie theatre parking lot.
"where are you going?"
"a movie"
"what time does it start"
"9:30" it was already 9:40ish
"well get your taillights fixed" he left

i've seen him since on the road and he waved to me.

 

That is priceless!!!!!!!

 

"tell me that thing aint yours" (fiddy) "walk that thing the f#(k home"

 

i'd rather just have yours

 

Riding my dirt bike on the road pulling some wheelies and the cop goes. if you can wheelie this 1/4 mile strip i will let you off, if you cant i will be taking your bike and arresting you. well did the 1/4 and he almost **** himself, he had no idea that i could wheelie that far. told me to only ride during the afternoon when everyone is at work. haha, he is a good cop.

two of my friends have to go to court for riding their 50's on the road.

 

okay... me and 3 buddies are all riding home from denver to k.c. after a weekend in colo. springs for superbike races at mtn. view raceway.... we all get off in hays kansas to get gas and then get back on the highway... we are all tucked on the tanks and rollin' 'bout 140... come under a overpass and there's a hi-po napping in grass... he never even responds to us... so we think awesome!!! we're home free... 'bout 30 miles later we see lots of cops and 2 wreckers have the road blocked down, we're thinkin' there must be a accident up ahead... we slow up and roll on the backed up traffic and as we get closer the cops start rollin' into the road, that's when we realize we're f'd... we roll up on the cops and the greet us in the road and the first cop approaches us and asks if any of us have ever stayed the nite at the HI-PO INN... 'cause he was giving us comp rooms for the nite... f'er thought he was funny... when they got us back to the shop and we were gettin' processed none of them saw any humor in out shirts... 2 buddies were wearing cops lie shirts, one buddy a starboyz ftp shirt and i was wearin' JUST SAY NO TO FIVE-O shirt... never heard of an arrest being called a comp nite at HI-PO INN...

 

I have a ton of dumb things cops have said to me but this one is the best. I bought an exhaust system for my bike A D&D carbon fiber can with stainless headers. I worked until 10 that night came home and UPS brought it. Of course I had to put it on that night. I put it on and my jetting is off so the bike is back firing. I have a neighbor across the street that calls the cops on me if I fart too loud in front of my house. He must have called the cops right after the first backfire. It took the cops about an hour or so to get to my house. The bike only backfired twice and then the jetting got fixed. We were running the bike in the garage with the garage door cracked a little bit. We opened the garage door for a smoke and to air it out. As we are smoking the cop pulls in the driveway. "Have you guys been reving your motorbikes?" I said, "Ya we were earlier but that was about 2 and 1/2 hours ago." The cop said, "Well we have reports that you have been reving your bike so loud that it is causing a distribaunce (sp)." I said, "If I had been reving my bike that much and for so long, would I be able to grab my muffler and put on my hand around it like this." The cop said, "Well I guess not. Sorry to have bothered you but try to keep it down for the rest of the night." I ever asked the cop if he wanted to put his hand on it to make sure. Carbon fiber mufflers don't get that hot dumbass. Since then when the same cop comes to my house, we stand there and shoot the ****. He has to come because the neighbor called. I will never get a ticket for anything from the cop probably because he figures I have been harassed enough from my neighbor.

 

ha, I got a good one, it's kinda fuked up but funny,

"Since your gay friend bailed and your dumbass pulled over, you're getting fuked buddy, I was just going to give you guys a warning but I'm gonna take it out on you now"

Fuking pig arrested me and I wasn't even doing ****.

 

this is a call a fellow deputy and i went to

we got called to a party that got out of hand and someone had been cut on the arm. when we arrive we walk to the front door and find glass and blood all over the place, but no one inside. we went back outside and could hear everyone in the woods trying to hide. we knew the ownerers weren't home and the daughter had thrown the party so we called the parents at camp and told them to come home due to are findings. we then backed out and waited for the parents to arrive. the people partying thought we left and returned to the house. we made are way on foot back to the house and waited in the shadows for the parents. once they arrived the daughter and the guy who was cut returned also.

we kicked everyone out per the direction of the owners and then spoke with the daughter about providing a place for minors. the other deputy also had to talk to her about another case he had on her and told her this. she was trashed and started flappin her lips. her parents tried to get her to shut up and she told them to f-off. she's like i hate you and I hate you too Forrest (the other deputy). he finally got tired of it and told her ....

"LOOK AMANDA I'M NOT GONNA GO HOME TONIGHT AND LOOSE SLEEP BECAUSE AMANDA FU(KING BECKINGHAM DOESN'T FU(KING LIKE ME"

when he said that i lost it and walked off LMFAO, the parent's mouths dropped, and she clammed right da fu(k up. I still laugh about to this day. sorry so long

 

Ive only stopped once.

he said " YOU KNOW HOW ****ING FAR I CHASED YOU TWO? 12 miles



we were topping out our gsxr 750's at the time on the freeway and slowed down, well he stayed with us w/out his DISCOS on so we never knew he was coming.......plus this was when I had my bike for a month and no M endorsement.



ALL THE TICKETS GOT DROPPED he never showed for court! HAHA **** on you